Braving the Storm

I have missed documenting our life in this way.  I love looking back at old posts, it's therapeutic.  On September 19th my husband came down with Covid and shortly after I and the children got sick.  Eleanor was the last one to get sick.  I was so surprised by how awful it was.   The fatigue was all-consuming, so much so that one day I didn't think I could stand.  I did not have it as bad as my husband.  I was still able to rest and at times get up and help the kids or prepare food but my husband was never able to do that.  As the days went by I was watching his O2 get lower and lower.  When it was in the low 90s I asked our doctor if he could prescribe steroids.  He wouldn't, he said it wouldn't help.  Then one day I woke up and first thing checked his O2, it was 87.  When I told my husband what his 02 was he lifted up his finger and said "I'm fine." I said, "no babe, it is below 90." He said, "I'm telling you, I feel the best I have felt in a really long time." It was a challenge to convince him to be seen but I was eventually able to. Our doctor wanted him to go to the hospital but Clayton was afraid of how they would treat him.  He went to the clinic in town and they prescribed antibiotics, steroids, an inhaler, and nebulizing treatments.  His O2 still wasn't coming up so he found a doctor in town that would prescribe oxygen at home, among other medicines. This guy was a lifesaver! I was too weak to drive Clay to the appointment but a friend offered too and I am so grateful he did.  

This time was one of the hardest, scariest times in our lives.  Seeing Clayton, my strong, healthy husband weak on oxygen was the hardest part.  Being sick myself and trying to care for everyone almost felt impossible at times. We were truly in survival mode.  When Eleanor got sick I asked my Dad to come help.  God was so merciful. I'm not sure how we would have managed without my Dad. That and the help and meals we received from friends.  

We are on week four of Clayton not working (he will go back to work next week) and we are finally feeling better and more human.  I am so thankful!  

Suffering is interesting, I find myself being super thankful for the ability to do mundane tasks like the dishes or laundry.  

Tomorrow Clayton has to get the flu vaccine and I am so afraid he will just get sick again.  He usually doesn't feel well after getting it.  His religious exemption did get approved for the Covid vax and we are so grateful.    

Today I dropped Eleanor off at the library for her volunteer work.  Then I went to the grocery store and the thrift shop.  I made lunch for my family, did math with Felicity, rested with Moses in the afternoon, wrote my Grandmother a letter, played Yahtzee with Boaz and Felicity, and then got dinner ready.  All these ordinary occurrences felt so good and right.  I really want to be more present with my family and not always worrying about what needs to happen next.  I'm tired of trying to get it all done and rushing around like a mad lady.  It will never be done.  There will always be work and tasks to accomplish.  With Christ, I can be more peaceful and present.  I know it will take time to grow in this area.  Just like it takes time to strengthen a new muscle, it will take time to strengthen my thoughts in this area.  

I don't look at this storm we recently went through as a form of trauma.  I realized, while sick, that we will go through some really hard and scary times and that's ok.  HE will never leave us or forsake us.  HE loves us and remembers us, and will always take care of us.  I know I will have to learn this lesson again and again.

  Art by Felicity :) It is Dad on Oxygen, can't you tell? 

We all enjoyed some hot chocolate the other night! It was so fun!! Life might get challenging but I am so thankful for these beautiful and merciful people God has given me.